Sara Heller was 24 weeks pregnant when she and her partner, Chris Eidam found out from an ultrasound that their son Brody has a bilateral cleft lip and palate. This condition occurs when tissues in the baby’s face and mouth don’t fuse properly — which result to openings and splits on both sides of the
via Blogger Stranger gives mom $1,000 to help fix infant’s severe cleft lip — just look at him now
0 Comments
Sara Heller was 24 weeks pregnant when she and her partner, Chris Eidam found out from an ultrasound that their son Brody has a bilateral cleft lip and palate. This condition occurs when tissues in the baby’s face and mouth don’t fuse properly — which result to openings and splits on both sides of the
via Tumblr Stranger gives mom $1,000 to help fix infant’s severe cleft lip — just look at him now When it comes to achieving goals, most people lack one key-character to reach their goals, which is that they are not goal oriented enough. They set and write down their goals once, and then they allow everything to happen by chance. They do not review their goals, they do not plan, and they do not track their progress. As a result, they lose track of their goals, which eventually makes them lose the interest they have with their goals. And at the end, they quit and give up on the goals. If this is happening to you right now, you need to do something about it. You need to learn to be more goal oriented in life. Highly successful people like Elon Musk, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Mark Cuban, etc, are absolutely goal oriented. They can’t stop thinking about the results that they want to accomplish, they keep their goals in their head all the time, and they constantly work tirelessly toward what they want. And this is why they are able to produce remarkable success in life. And this is what you must learn too. Here are 7 methods how you can become more goal oriented. Learn these methods, and try to apply them to your life. How to Become More Goal Oriented in Your Life
1. Plan Your DayThe first thing you need to do to become more goal oriented is to plan your day. Without planning, there is no way you can guarantee that you are going to make progress on your goals. We all are busy and distractions are everywhere. Hence, without planning for our day, we will be lost in our day-to-day operation and wonder where the time goes. While it is true that your day may not turn out exactly as what you have planned, having a plan is still much better than having no plan at all. When you have a plan, you understand what you need to get done. In other words, you are proactive. On the other hand, when you have no plan, you will become reactive because you will respond to whatever things that throw at you. For instance, if you have no idea what to do over the weekend, and when your friends ask you for a drink, there is a high chance that you will accept since you think that you are free and have nothing to do anyway. However, if you already have a plan, things will be totally different. This is why planning is important. Thus, write down what you need to get done for the day each morning before you start your day. 2. Schedule Your ActionsThe second thing you can do to become more goal oriented is to schedule your actions. Studies have shown that when we schedule the work, we greatly improve the probability that it will happen. Scheduling is like making an appointment with yourself. For example, if you want to go for the gym and exercise for an hour, just make it as a schedule and tell yourself, “I’m going to the gym at 7AM this Sunday and I will workout from 7:30AM to 9AM, for one and a half hour.” When you schedule your task this way, you are making your task to become absolutely specific, which increases the clarity of how your mind can execute the action. Therefore, you can schedule most of your work and actions that you are going to execute to make progress toward your goals. You can always start with your calendar and also your to-do list. Schedule your to-do list items so that you will know exactly when and where to carry out the action. Furthermore, you can also use a calendar and write down ad-hoc tasks that you want to act on. 3. Review Your ProgressOne of the main reasons people are not goal oriented and they fail to reach their goals because they did not review their progress. A lot of people thought that goal setting is a one-time process whereby they just need to write down their goals once, and then the results will come to them automatically, this is wrong. Goal setting is a continuous process where you need to constantly review your progress and actively track your results. Whatever that is out of your sight will be out of your mind. Thus, you must constantly review your goals to remind yourself of what you want to achieve and what you need to do in order to get there. Another important reason you want to regularly review your goals is that you want to condition your goals into your subconscious mind. Most people fail to produce the results they want because they did not review their goals, which make them forget about their targets, and then they lose their passion for the goals, which eventually, make them give up. So do not allow this to happen to you. Make it a habit to review your goals daily. 4. Follow the 90/90/1 RuleThis powerful rule is shared by the famous and best-selling author, Robin Sharma. He said that if you want to be goal oriented and make progress in life, just commit to the 90/90/1 Rule. This rule states that for the next 90 days, spend 90 minutes each day to do 1 thing that moves you toward your goals. If your goal is to build a successful blog, find out what is the one thing you can do to progress and reach your goal. And most likely, that one thing for bloggers will be publishing quality content. Thus, commit to the 90/90/1 Rule by writing quality content for 90 minutes each day for the next 90 days. You can apply this rule to every other area of your life. If you want to lose weight, find out the one thing that you can do to lose the weight, and then commit to doing the work for 90 minutes a day for the next 90 days. Do you get it? Just follow the 90/90/1 Rule as what Robin Sharma suggested. 5. Network and Mix with the Right PeopleJim Rohn was right when he said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If you want to be goal oriented, just mix and network with people who are also goals oriented. Goal oriented people will talk a lot about their goals, their dreams, and how are they going to get there. They are absolutely excited to discuss their goals and plans, and they are willing to share their views with you. When you talk to other people, the topic of conversation is important because this it will influence your thinking. Unsuccessful people often talk about other people, they blame others, and they often find excuses for why doing something are impossible. The first step you need to take is to stop or greatly reduce your time spend with negative people. And the second step is to network and mix with other goal oriented people. 6. Write It DownThis is the most common mistake that most people never do. They underestimated the power of writing down their goals. When you put down your goals onto papers, it simply shows that you are committed enough and are serious about achieving them. This is why you bother writing them down. People who are not serious and are not committed to their goals will never bother to write them down in the first place. This is a great distinction between someone who are committed and someone who are not. Plus, when you write down your goals, you are telling your subconscious mind that these are important ideas that you love to achieve. And guess what, your subconscious mind will then goes to work 24/7 to come up with ideas and give you the initiative to work on the goals. What you need to do is simple, just write down your goals each day. And make it your habit to do so. Remember, you want to install the idea of achieving your goals to your subconscious. 7. Be 100% CommittedFinally, if you want to be more goal oriented, you must treat your goals with 100% commitment. This is where a lot of people fail, especially when the situation becomes tough, they choose to abandon their goals. For instance, if you want to workout in the gym each morning, choose to be 100% committed and follow your plan. Regardless of whether it rains or not. Many people choose to stop taking action when they face a roadblock such as rain. They choose to continue to sleep in their comfortable and warm bed rather than wake up and act on their goals. Goal oriented people are people who are committed to achieving their goals. They are willing to do whatever it takes to get there. Are you? The post How to Become More Goal Oriented in Your Life appeared first on Everyday Power Blog. via Blogger How to Become More Goal Oriented in Your Life When it comes to achieving goals, most people lack one key-character to reach their goals, which is that they are not goal oriented enough. They set and write down their goals once, and then they allow everything to happen by chance. They do not review their goals, they do not plan, and they do not track their progress. As a result, they lose track of their goals, which eventually makes them lose the interest they have with their goals. And at the end, they quit and give up on the goals. If this is happening to you right now, you need to do something about it. You need to learn to be more goal oriented in life. Highly successful people like Elon Musk, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Mark Cuban, etc, are absolutely goal oriented. They can’t stop thinking about the results that they want to accomplish, they keep their goals in their head all the time, and they constantly work tirelessly toward what they want. And this is why they are able to produce remarkable success in life. And this is what you must learn too. Here are 7 methods how you can become more goal oriented. Learn these methods, and try to apply them to your life. How to Become More Goal Oriented in Your Life1. Plan Your DayThe first thing you need to do to become more goal oriented is to plan your day. Without planning, there is no way you can guarantee that you are going to make progress on your goals. We all are busy and distractions are everywhere. Hence, without planning for our day, we will be lost in our day-to-day operation and wonder where the time goes. While it is true that your day may not turn out exactly as what you have planned, having a plan is still much better than having no plan at all. When you have a plan, you understand what you need to get done. In other words, you are proactive. On the other hand, when you have no plan, you will become reactive because you will respond to whatever things that throw at you. For instance, if you have no idea what to do over the weekend, and when your friends ask you for a drink, there is a high chance that you will accept since you think that you are free and have nothing to do anyway. However, if you already have a plan, things will be totally different. This is why planning is important. Thus, write down what you need to get done for the day each morning before you start your day. 2. Schedule Your ActionsThe second thing you can do to become more goal oriented is to schedule your actions. Studies have shown that when we schedule the work, we greatly improve the probability that it will happen. Scheduling is like making an appointment with yourself. For example, if you want to go for the gym and exercise for an hour, just make it as a schedule and tell yourself, “I’m going to the gym at 7AM this Sunday and I will workout from 7:30AM to 9AM, for one and a half hour.” When you schedule your task this way, you are making your task to become absolutely specific, which increases the clarity of how your mind can execute the action. Therefore, you can schedule most of your work and actions that you are going to execute to make progress toward your goals. You can always start with your calendar and also your to-do list. Schedule your to-do list items so that you will know exactly when and where to carry out the action. Furthermore, you can also use a calendar and write down ad-hoc tasks that you want to act on. 3. Review Your ProgressOne of the main reasons people are not goal oriented and they fail to reach their goals because they did not review their progress. A lot of people thought that goal setting is a one-time process whereby they just need to write down their goals once, and then the results will come to them automatically, this is wrong. Goal setting is a continuous process where you need to constantly review your progress and actively track your results. Whatever that is out of your sight will be out of your mind. Thus, you must constantly review your goals to remind yourself of what you want to achieve and what you need to do in order to get there. Another important reason you want to regularly review your goals is that you want to condition your goals into your subconscious mind. Most people fail to produce the results they want because they did not review their goals, which make them forget about their targets, and then they lose their passion for the goals, which eventually, make them give up. So do not allow this to happen to you. Make it a habit to review your goals daily. 4. Follow the 90/90/1 RuleThis powerful rule is shared by the famous and best-selling author, Robin Sharma. He said that if you want to be goal oriented and make progress in life, just commit to the 90/90/1 Rule. This rule states that for the next 90 days, spend 90 minutes each day to do 1 thing that moves you toward your goals. If your goal is to build a successful blog, find out what is the one thing you can do to progress and reach your goal. And most likely, that one thing for bloggers will be publishing quality content. Thus, commit to the 90/90/1 Rule by writing quality content for 90 minutes each day for the next 90 days. You can apply this rule to every other area of your life. If you want to lose weight, find out the one thing that you can do to lose the weight, and then commit to doing the work for 90 minutes a day for the next 90 days. Do you get it? Just follow the 90/90/1 Rule as what Robin Sharma suggested. 5. Network and Mix with the Right PeopleJim Rohn was right when he said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If you want to be goal oriented, just mix and network with people who are also goals oriented. Goal oriented people will talk a lot about their goals, their dreams, and how are they going to get there. They are absolutely excited to discuss their goals and plans, and they are willing to share their views with you. When you talk to other people, the topic of conversation is important because this it will influence your thinking. Unsuccessful people often talk about other people, they blame others, and they often find excuses for why doing something are impossible. The first step you need to take is to stop or greatly reduce your time spend with negative people. And the second step is to network and mix with other goal oriented people. 6. Write It DownThis is the most common mistake that most people never do. They underestimated the power of writing down their goals. When you put down your goals onto papers, it simply shows that you are committed enough and are serious about achieving them. This is why you bother writing them down. People who are not serious and are not committed to their goals will never bother to write them down in the first place. This is a great distinction between someone who are committed and someone who are not. Plus, when you write down your goals, you are telling your subconscious mind that these are important ideas that you love to achieve. And guess what, your subconscious mind will then goes to work 24/7 to come up with ideas and give you the initiative to work on the goals. What you need to do is simple, just write down your goals each day. And make it your habit to do so. Remember, you want to install the idea of achieving your goals to your subconscious. 7. Be 100% CommittedFinally, if you want to be more goal oriented, you must treat your goals with 100% commitment. This is where a lot of people fail, especially when the situation becomes tough, they choose to abandon their goals. For instance, if you want to workout in the gym each morning, choose to be 100% committed and follow your plan. Regardless of whether it rains or not. Many people choose to stop taking action when they face a roadblock such as rain. They choose to continue to sleep in their comfortable and warm bed rather than wake up and act on their goals. Goal oriented people are people who are committed to achieving their goals. They are willing to do whatever it takes to get there. Are you? The post How to Become More Goal Oriented in Your Life appeared first on Everyday Power Blog. via Tumblr How to Become More Goal Oriented in Your Life Blind homeless cat regains his sight then surprises rescuers with his beautiful unique eyes11/30/2018
If you are an animal lover, hearing rescue stories about them might be one of your favorite things. Well, this one will surely tug at your heartstrings, as the feline protagonist in this story surprised his rescuers with something they never imagined they would discover. This is Cotton, a stray cat who had been living
via Blogger ‘Blind’ homeless cat regains his sight, then surprises rescuers with his beautiful unique eyes Blind homeless cat regains his sight then surprises rescuers with his beautiful unique eyes11/30/2018
If you are an animal lover, hearing rescue stories about them might be one of your favorite things. Well, this one will surely tug at your heartstrings, as the feline protagonist in this story surprised his rescuers with something they never imagined they would discover. This is Cotton, a stray cat who had been living
via Tumblr ‘Blind’ homeless cat regains his sight, then surprises rescuers with his beautiful unique eyes This Broadway actor took a compassionate stand when a crying child with autism interrupted the show11/29/2018
At one point in your life, you may have experienced the inconvenience of having to deal with a stranger’s crying child. Or maybe not just at one point, but multiple times. If you’ll come to think of it, it’s a pretty normal situation. Children do this all the time, and we expect their parents to
via Blogger This Broadway actor took a compassionate stand when a crying child with autism interrupted the show Learning how to cope with inner resistance, disappointment, and conflict is part of the human experience. As toddlers, we handle it boldly, directly, and honestly: we have full-on tantrums. As we grow, however, we learn how to handle negative life situations with more finesse. We are taught starting in preschool to learn to play well with others. We learn we must be nice to our friends. Part of learning to play with others is to quell the inner storms long enough to listen to everyone’s point of view. Another important part is learning to speak your own point of view. If either of these aspects malfunction, we end up with results that can be characterized as passive aggressive behavior. For example: all of us have had moments of being resentful, withdrawing in sullen protest, or talking about a situation behind a friend’s back. By the time we are adults, we are expected to have figured out how to manage anger, how to listen, and how to clearly communicate and negotiate. So why are some adults routinely become passive aggressive? If you think about it, our society doesn’t have a lot of tolerance for aggression, which is essentially anger. Anger is a taboo emotion. While many people are encouraged into sports as an indirect tool for anger management, we don’t necessarily have overt methods of dealing with anger (that are not laced with shame). Because anger is linked with violence, men are often feared when they express their anger. This leads many peaceable men to be afraid of their own anger and stuff it. Women also have trouble with anger. Many women have been domesticated to believe that expressing anger is not being a ‘lady.’ Combine the discomfort of anger with a fear of conflict, and you’ve got passive aggressiveness. You want to be heard, but you do NOT want to create conflict nor do you want to admit you feel angry…even though you do! So you’ve learned some other strategies for getting what you want (results may vary). Here’s a short list to let you know if you have passive aggressive behavior, and what you can do about it. 1) You play the silent game while secretly stabbing a voodoo doll.The silent game is a familiar strategy in passive aggressive behavior. The intent is to punish the other person with silence while pretending to not care about them. Taking a break from a situation and creating distance for reflection is very different than the silent game. The silent game is only silent in that there is NO conversation happening between you and the person with whom you are angry. It is actually very loud inside your own mind: replaying the perceived injustice, feeling worse and worse about what happened, building the inner anger and resentment, and sending highly negative vibes to the other person. The silent game gets you more and more deeply entrenched in your own point of view and expands your suffering. If you’re ensnared by the silent game, the way to start untangling from it is to apologize. Speak your truth and release. A first step is a virtual conversation. Envision the person in your mind clearly. Accept personal responsibility for the parts of the conflict that were yours by saying you are sorry. Share your thoughts and feelings about what you perceive they said or did that hurt you. Lastly, release the situation to a higher power. Invite a new perception that will resolve the matter. Repeat this virtual conversation whenever you find your mind embroiled in the debate again. At some point, if you feel ready, you can attempt an actual conversation (see advice under point #3). 2) You have chronic amnesia about that thing you promised to do (but don’t actually want to do).It’s so frustrating when people keep ‘forgetting’ to do the thing they promised to do, right? What if you’re this person? Chances are if you look deeply into your forgetful mind, you’ll realize you did NOT really want to take this action. You only said you would do it to make the other person happy in the moment (or to stop a conflict). Perhaps the other person was highly insistent, and so you complied in order to avoid further nagging. Pleasing others is passive aggressive behavior for getting around conflict, but it also results in a buildup of resentment that does NOT have a healthy outlet. This resentment can make you dig your heels in when the time comes to fulfill that promise. The solution is to NOT make promises you do not want to keep. Easier said than done, because it risks someone being unhappy with you right now. But as you learn to only make promises you intend to keep, you become a person of your word. Integrity feels awesome. Run this experiment: for one whole day say ‘No’ every time someone asks you to do something. Don’t explain yourself. Just witness your internal reaction to telling someone ‘No.’ While you are standing in your ‘No’ answer, mentally and emotionally wrap your arms around yourself in a protective manner. You deserve your own support as you stand up for yourself. 3) You talk to everyone that will listen about a problem with your friend, including the grocery bagger (except your friend).
Gossip is one of the most insidious aspects of passive aggressive behavior. It spreads the toxic situation around your circle of friends, your family, and your community, infecting the perceptions of others and reinvigorating your determination to keep the problem going. The goal of gossip is typically to reinforce your own point of view. Here’s the problem with that strategy: your perception might be faulty. Talking with someone about the situation is helpful if, and only if, you are seeking to understand or resolve it. When choosing a person with whom to confer, pick someone who will be supportive – but also call you on your part in the situation. If you’re calling the friend who always says you’re right, just realize you’re seeking validation rather than resolution. Once you understand how you feel, and you claim responsibility for your own perceptions and reactions. You can decide whether you want to work on your relationship with your friend. If the answer is yes, then choose to be vulnerable. Choose to go into the conversation with your heart open. Share your perspective as clearly as you can without blaming them for how you chose to feel. For example, “When you said this (fact), I thought you meant that (perception), and then I felt this way (reaction). This friendship is important to me. What I would like to happen is this (request).” Leave expectations at the door and just show up to listen. 4) You self-sabotage with the delusion that hurting yourself will make your perpetrators feel bad.Sometimes, when we experienced trauma as a child, even being neglected or told ‘children should be seen and not heard,’ can develop some unhealthy self-sabotage. This particular pattern is caused by the Triangle of Disempowerment: Victim, Rescuer, Perpetrator. Wanting to harm yourself is part of the Victim role, and invites a Perpetrator to complete the picture to give you the justification. The Rescuer saves you and confirms how unjust life is, and how mean the Perpetrator is. This aspect of passive aggressive behavior is about the need to feel seen, heard, and wanted. It has a huge dependency for someone outside of yourself to complete you, or give you the good feelings you crave so you can keep living (Rescuer). When that person is unwilling to fill your cup, they become the Perpetrator. This pattern can also include a heavy dose of taking things personally. When you take things personally, you believe it’s your fault when someone has a negative belief about you. You also take it personally when they like you. To break free, you must realize that NOTHING anyone does is ever actually about you. What other people say or do is about their own beliefs, projections, and experience of life. The best way to support yourself through this challenge is to nurture yourself deeply. To gain resilience during the turbulence of relationship, you need to be the first person you go to for love and reassurance. To start, you can close your eyes and turn your attention inward to your heart. Place one hand over your heart and the other over your belly. Breathe in love, breathe out resistance to love. If this is part of your pattern, seek a practitioner to help you with child healing meditation. The more you heal the inner child, the more integrated and whole you become. Eventually, you will feel self-love and acceptance, and walk away from this pattern for good. 5) You smile as you hand a drink to your nemesis that you have laced with toenail clippings.I’m sure this title captured your attention! This category of passive aggressive behavior is pretending to be nice while actually attacking. This level crosses the line into nefarious while projecting the image public innocence. While deep levels of anger might inspire this kind of underhanded attack, it’s best to remember an important Universal principle: what comes around, goes around. In the short term, this type of action might deliver a dark gleefulness. But in the long term, the loss of personal integrity is not worth it. Underlying this form of passive aggressiveness is a feeling of powerlessness. Secretly acting aggressive is a rebellious attempt at regaining power in the context of the relationship. Unfortunately, acting in this way undermines personal power by robbing you of integrity. Acts such as these eventually are found out. The truth has a way of finding the light, and suppressing this kind of truth is like lugging a huge suitcase of anxiety and self-judgment everywhere you go and trying to hide it. If you have the amount of anger and hatred that would inspire this kind of passive aggressive behavior, it’s best to release it in a way that does not harm others. In some Native American traditions, the “wailing hole” was a place to release such grievances. Dig a hole in the Earth and scream and cry into it. Cover the hole when you’ve released all you can in this moment and trust the Earth will process it for you. As more anger and resentment arise, find ways to let it go so you can be free of it in a way that has integrity.
Don’t Let Passive Aggressive Behavior Rule YOUStanding in your personal power is the best way to avoid passive aggressive behavior. Give yourself the permission to speak your mind and share your heart. Listen to yourself and honor your feelings. Focus your love and attention on yourself first. Invest in personal healing and development to address places in your life where you felt wounded. As you deepen your self-respect, you will not allow others to treat you poorly – and you will not allow yourself to treat others poorly. Eventually, you will shift into a vibration of self-love that is no longer dependent on anyone but YOU. The post 5 Signs You’re A Passive Aggressive Person appeared first on Everyday Power Blog. via Blogger 5 Signs You’re A Passive Aggressive Person
The John Lewis Campaign “The Boy and the Piano” featuring the famous singer Elton John gained different reactions from viewers. However, a lot of people were disappointed considering the amount of money invested on this Christmas advert. This is why when people saw the short, Christmas-themed film “Love is a Gift”, they were mesmerized by
via Blogger A touching Christmas video ad with a budget of £50 is leaving viewers in tears Learning how to cope with inner resistance, disappointment, and conflict is part of the human experience. As toddlers, we handle it boldly, directly, and honestly: we have full-on tantrums. As we grow, however, we learn how to handle negative life situations with more finesse. We are taught starting in preschool to learn to play well with others. We learn we must be nice to our friends. Part of learning to play with others is to quell the inner storms long enough to listen to everyone’s point of view. Another important part is learning to speak your own point of view. If either of these aspects malfunction, we end up with results that can be characterized as passive aggressive behavior. For example: all of us have had moments of being resentful, withdrawing in sullen protest, or talking about a situation behind a friend’s back. By the time we are adults, we are expected to have figured out how to manage anger, how to listen, and how to clearly communicate and negotiate. So why are some adults routinely become passive aggressive? If you think about it, our society doesn’t have a lot of tolerance for aggression, which is essentially anger. Anger is a taboo emotion. While many people are encouraged into sports as an indirect tool for anger management, we don’t necessarily have overt methods of dealing with anger (that are not laced with shame). Because anger is linked with violence, men are often feared when they express their anger. This leads many peaceable men to be afraid of their own anger and stuff it. Women also have trouble with anger. Many women have been domesticated to believe that expressing anger is not being a ‘lady.’ Combine the discomfort of anger with a fear of conflict, and you’ve got passive aggressiveness. You want to be heard, but you do NOT want to create conflict nor do you want to admit you feel angry…even though you do! So you’ve learned some other strategies for getting what you want (results may vary). Here’s a short list to let you know if you have passive aggressive behavior, and what you can do about it. 1) You play the silent game while secretly stabbing a voodoo doll.The silent game is a familiar strategy in passive aggressive behavior. The intent is to punish the other person with silence while pretending to not care about them. Taking a break from a situation and creating distance for reflection is very different than the silent game. The silent game is only silent in that there is NO conversation happening between you and the person with whom you are angry. It is actually very loud inside your own mind: replaying the perceived injustice, feeling worse and worse about what happened, building the inner anger and resentment, and sending highly negative vibes to the other person. The silent game gets you more and more deeply entrenched in your own point of view and expands your suffering. If you’re ensnared by the silent game, the way to start untangling from it is to apologize. Speak your truth and release. A first step is a virtual conversation. Envision the person in your mind clearly. Accept personal responsibility for the parts of the conflict that were yours by saying you are sorry. Share your thoughts and feelings about what you perceive they said or did that hurt you. Lastly, release the situation to a higher power. Invite a new perception that will resolve the matter. Repeat this virtual conversation whenever you find your mind embroiled in the debate again. At some point, if you feel ready, you can attempt an actual conversation (see advice under point #3). 2) You have chronic amnesia about that thing you promised to do (but don’t actually want to do).It’s so frustrating when people keep ‘forgetting’ to do the thing they promised to do, right? What if you’re this person? Chances are if you look deeply into your forgetful mind, you’ll realize you did NOT really want to take this action. You only said you would do it to make the other person happy in the moment (or to stop a conflict). Perhaps the other person was highly insistent, and so you complied in order to avoid further nagging. Pleasing others is passive aggressive behavior for getting around conflict, but it also results in a buildup of resentment that does NOT have a healthy outlet. This resentment can make you dig your heels in when the time comes to fulfill that promise. The solution is to NOT make promises you do not want to keep. Easier said than done, because it risks someone being unhappy with you right now. But as you learn to only make promises you intend to keep, you become a person of your word. Integrity feels awesome. Run this experiment: for one whole day say ‘No’ every time someone asks you to do something. Don’t explain yourself. Just witness your internal reaction to telling someone ‘No.’ While you are standing in your ‘No’ answer, mentally and emotionally wrap your arms around yourself in a protective manner. You deserve your own support as you stand up for yourself. 3) You talk to everyone that will listen about a problem with your friend, including the grocery bagger (except your friend).
Gossip is one of the most insidious aspects of passive aggressive behavior. It spreads the toxic situation around your circle of friends, your family, and your community, infecting the perceptions of others and reinvigorating your determination to keep the problem going. The goal of gossip is typically to reinforce your own point of view. Here’s the problem with that strategy: your perception might be faulty. Talking with someone about the situation is helpful if, and only if, you are seeking to understand or resolve it. When choosing a person with whom to confer, pick someone who will be supportive – but also call you on your part in the situation. If you’re calling the friend who always says you’re right, just realize you’re seeking validation rather than resolution. Once you understand how you feel, and you claim responsibility for your own perceptions and reactions. You can decide whether you want to work on your relationship with your friend. If the answer is yes, then choose to be vulnerable. Choose to go into the conversation with your heart open. Share your perspective as clearly as you can without blaming them for how you chose to feel. For example, “When you said this (fact), I thought you meant that (perception), and then I felt this way (reaction). This friendship is important to me. What I would like to happen is this (request).” Leave expectations at the door and just show up to listen. 4) You self-sabotage with the delusion that hurting yourself will make your perpetrators feel bad.Sometimes, when we experienced trauma as a child, even being neglected or told ‘children should be seen and not heard,’ can develop some unhealthy self-sabotage. This particular pattern is caused by the Triangle of Disempowerment: Victim, Rescuer, Perpetrator. Wanting to harm yourself is part of the Victim role, and invites a Perpetrator to complete the picture to give you the justification. The Rescuer saves you and confirms how unjust life is, and how mean the Perpetrator is. This aspect of passive aggressive behavior is about the need to feel seen, heard, and wanted. It has a huge dependency for someone outside of yourself to complete you, or give you the good feelings you crave so you can keep living (Rescuer). When that person is unwilling to fill your cup, they become the Perpetrator. This pattern can also include a heavy dose of taking things personally. When you take things personally, you believe it’s your fault when someone has a negative belief about you. You also take it personally when they like you. To break free, you must realize that NOTHING anyone does is ever actually about you. What other people say or do is about their own beliefs, projections, and experience of life. The best way to support yourself through this challenge is to nurture yourself deeply. To gain resilience during the turbulence of relationship, you need to be the first person you go to for love and reassurance. To start, you can close your eyes and turn your attention inward to your heart. Place one hand over your heart and the other over your belly. Breathe in love, breathe out resistance to love. If this is part of your pattern, seek a practitioner to help you with child healing meditation. The more you heal the inner child, the more integrated and whole you become. Eventually, you will feel self-love and acceptance, and walk away from this pattern for good. 5) You smile as you hand a drink to your nemesis that you have laced with toenail clippings.I’m sure this title captured your attention! This category of passive aggressive behavior is pretending to be nice while actually attacking. This level crosses the line into nefarious while projecting the image public innocence. While deep levels of anger might inspire this kind of underhanded attack, it’s best to remember an important Universal principle: what comes around, goes around. In the short term, this type of action might deliver a dark gleefulness. But in the long term, the loss of personal integrity is not worth it. Underlying this form of passive aggressiveness is a feeling of powerlessness. Secretly acting aggressive is a rebellious attempt at regaining power in the context of the relationship. Unfortunately, acting in this way undermines personal power by robbing you of integrity. Acts such as these eventually are found out. The truth has a way of finding the light, and suppressing this kind of truth is like lugging a huge suitcase of anxiety and self-judgment everywhere you go and trying to hide it. If you have the amount of anger and hatred that would inspire this kind of passive aggressive behavior, it’s best to release it in a way that does not harm others. In some Native American traditions, the “wailing hole” was a place to release such grievances. Dig a hole in the Earth and scream and cry into it. Cover the hole when you’ve released all you can in this moment and trust the Earth will process it for you. As more anger and resentment arise, find ways to let it go so you can be free of it in a way that has integrity. Don’t Let Passive Aggressive Behavior Rule YOUStanding in your personal power is the best way to avoid passive aggressive behavior. Give yourself the permission to speak your mind and share your heart. Listen to yourself and honor your feelings. Focus your love and attention on yourself first. Invest in personal healing and development to address places in your life where you felt wounded. As you deepen your self-respect, you will not allow others to treat you poorly – and you will not allow yourself to treat others poorly. Eventually, you will shift into a vibration of self-love that is no longer dependent on anyone but YOU. The post 5 Signs You’re A Passive Aggressive Person appeared first on Everyday Power Blog. via Tumblr 5 Signs You’re A Passive Aggressive Person |
AuthorI love to travel world and experience other cultures, their cuisines and tradition. Travel is how I define my happiness. Archives
May 2019
Categories |